Monday, August 25, 2008

Now That's Popping Corn!

One day last week around mid-afternoon, The Ancient One had a craving for popcorn. He went to the pantry and sure enough there was a box of the microwave variety. He extracted a package and read the instructions since it had been a very long time since he had indulged himself and made popcorn. It said to put it in the microwave for 4 minutes on the "high" setting. Into the microwave it went. The 4 minutes were entered on the timer and the start button pushed.

The Ancient One went into the other room to get something and returned to the kitchen at about the 3½ minute mark. He smelled something acrid, looked up and, sure enough, there was smoke pouring from the microwave. Being of sound mind, he raced across the room and pushed the button that not only stopped the microwave but opened the door. There was this charred, puffed up bag belching smoke which quickly escaped filled the kitchen. And then a stranger thing happened. The revolving microwave tray suddenly exploded! Trying to recall a physics lesson from many decades ago, he wondered if the cooler room air caused the explosion when it came into contact with superheated glass. But it really didn't matter!

After extracting and dousing the bag and letting things cool off, The Ancient One finally removed the glass tray and cleaned things up, he pondered his fate. How would he explain the gremlins that caused this mess when dear Donna returned home from work? He thought quickly. To the computer he dashed. He googled "microwave turntable" and "microwave tray" and search for a replacement to order for the 3 year old appliance. He found what appeared to be the right vendor and the needed tray. He wasn't sure so he called the vendor. Yes, it was the right part and was immediately ordered. At this moment on this day he loved the power of the internet and its ability to save his hide.

When Donna retuned home, The Ancient One calmly told her about the calamity ending his explanation with ". . .and the replacement has already been ordered." She gave him that "oh, how stupid can you be look" that all wives seem to have mastered and asked, "How much did it cost?"

Yes, that was an expensive bag of microwave popcorn that I DID NOT get to eat; $26.95 plus shipping and taxes of course! It will be here in 3 days . . . please!


Cameron said...

That sounds like something which would happen to ME.

Except I don't own a microwave. Something about them scares me.

I like making popcorn the old-fashioned way.

Bill Cohen said...

3 minutes tops.incidentally, I was banned from making microwave popcorn at work - people could tell the time (4 p.m.) by the smell of singed popcorn. And, dear dad, I strongly recommend the 94% fat-free variety. Much healthier. Cheers!


Leon said...

I'm glad I'm not alone CAMERON! I hope to see you posting again soon.

Leon said...

Well, BILL, like father, like son! And I was using the 94% fat-free variety. It burned anyway!